A post should appear every Sunday

Sunday January 14th 2024

Yes, The Betrayal, or how an innocent dog, after being lulled into a sense of false security, is subjected to over thirty minutes of unmitigated torment.

That’s quite enough, Isis. Let’s skip the hyperbole. All that happens, actually, is that I take Isis for her annual booster vaccination and vet. check.

We are seen by a pleasant young Chinese lady, who has the most gentle hands a dog could wish for.

Isis used to be the most obedient and well-behaved dog a vet. could wish for, but, unfortunately, since the quick of one of her toenails was accidentally cut last time she had a nail trim, this changes. For weeks she is unwilling to let me even touch her left fore paw – the site of the injury – although now she has relented and allows me to shampoo, rinse and dry all of her muddy feet without any resistance.

Isis is lifted onto the examination table, because I know that she will have less opportunity to indulge in her favourite escape strategies up there than on the floor.

She is very co-operative while the stethescope is placed in different positions on her chest, her identity chip is located, and her ears, eyes and teeth are examined. She doesn’t move a millimetre when the vaccination is done.

I explain about the nail clipping incident, and suggest that she is muzzled while her nails are clipped, and also that we leave the affected paw until last.

The vet is very careful indeed, first placing each of Hairy One’s feet flat and pointing forward, in order to guage exactly how much of each nail needs to be removed, then gently lifting the paw and carefully clipping each nail. Isis doesn’t object to the first paw being handled, but begins to tremble and utter little, low growls once the clipping process begins, and tries repeatedly to withdraw the held paw.

All in all, though, the clipping goes relatively well until it’s time to deal with paw number four – the dreaded front left  paw.

The vet is very, very patient, as Isis ups the growling, and stiffens her whole leg into immobile mode before snatching away the paw. Eventually, she secures the small, twitching foot in her hand and manages to clip each claw by minute degrees until the task is completed.

The muzzle is removed, and now there’s just one final indignity for poor Isis to endure: the emptying of her anal glands.

As might be expected, she never exactly enjoys the process; now, however, her behaviour assumes a wildness which, to me, expresses her opinion of the whole visit. She picks up on the low growls again, and concurrently attempts to shuffle, in turn, backwards, forwards and sideways. She tries to whip her head round in order, I assume, to reprimand the perpetrator of this latest assualt; Human, however, has a very firm grasp of her dear little pet’s indignant, hairy head.

Isis, ever resourceful, then takes to bouncing onto her front paws and thrusting her bottom up in the air as high as she can, and well above the reach of even the most determined assailant. Each time she ascends, we pull the hairy barage balloon back to earth, and, eventually, the task is completed.

Isis never harbours grudges, and as soon as the ordeal is over, stands calmly while her rear end is thoroughly wiped down, and, afterwards, receives (absolutely undeserved) strokes and pats from her exhausted tormentor.

Back in the car, I apologise to poor Isis, and tell her we have to make sure she’s a healthy dog, and, as long as she remains a healthy dog, vet checks will only happen once a year.

At home, she’s less than ecstatic when I subject her to a rear end shampoo and rinse, but she raises no objections. After being patted dry, she is rewarded with a Baker’s Bacon Flavoured Sizzler. For dinner this evening, a sardine is added to her usual fare. After eating, then communing with her soft toys, she jumps onto the day bed and sleeps the sleep of the just – or, more accurately, the sleep of the just vaccinated!

Isis came from Aeza cat and dog rescue in Aljezur, Portugal. For information about adopting an animal from the centre, contact kerry@azea.org or go to http://www.dogwatch.co.uk.