Posting days: Sunday and Wednesday and, sometimes, maybe, extra ‘news flashes’
Sunday March 25th 2018
Scene: hallway, Friday March 16th
“Where’s Human gone?”
I don’t usually speak to Daisy. She smells dangerous and she has spikes on her feet. She spits at you as well and that’s not very nice.
a emerging a merging an emergent an emergency. Human’s gone.
Daisy’s noticed as well. I’m sure she has.
“So?”, she says, and she yawns a big pink yawn. I notice how long and sharp her teeth are.
She shoots out one of her back legs and begins to wash it.
“But where’s Human gone?”, I ask her again. I don’t mean to, it just slips out.
She closes her eyes and tells me she doesn’t give a spit where Human is because she’s sure another human will come and look after her. They always do. She’s a cat.
I know other humans don’t always come to look after dogs. Where I lived before, I was left alone a lot. I was tied up on a rope and other animals ate all the food and I got very thin and thirsty. But I don’t argue.
Then it happens again. Before I can stop myself, I’m saying, “Yes, well A. came last night and we were all together. It felt safe. I like A. She’s kind and she has magic hands and when she strokes you, you feel all warm and lovely all over. I only let special humans stroke me. But then Human went away. Now A.’s gone as well.”
“Oh my dog”, snaps Daisy, “You’re such a baby. Perhaps Human won’t ever come back. So what?”
I begin to shake like I do when we’re waiting to see the vet.
“Perhaps she’s ill”, the nasty cat says next. “Tell me. Did you notice any symptoms?”
“What’s a simtum?”, I ask.
Daisy sighs. It’s a very, very, long sigh.
“Has she been lying down a lot on the day bed?”
“Yes. She always lies down a lot on the day bed. She always gives me enough room, so ..”
Daisy gets angry then.
“What in dog’s name do you mean ‘she always gives you enough room. I don’t have to be given room, I just take it.”
“What else have you noticed? Has she stopped eating?”
I think hard. Human has been giving me a lot of cheese lately for being a good girl. I explain this to Daisy.
“Does she walk up to the cheese, sniff it and then walk away again?”, she asks.
“Yes, I think so. She often opens her mouth to put in the cheese and then looks at me and gives it to me instead. Because I’m a good girl.”
“Pah-thet-ic!” Daisy growls. “I get cheese every day. I don’t have to be good to get it.” She flicks her ears and begins to wash her face.
After a long time, she stops washing and looks straight at me. Oh dear, is she going to pounce?
But she doesn’t.
“Last question”, she says. “Does she sometimes swallow and look as though she’s going to be sick?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” I tell her quickly, “She does that a lot when she goes to drink her coffee and it’s gone cold.”
” A-ha”, says Daisy, ” I know what’s wrong with her.”
“Ah, yes”, I’m certain of it.”
“In fact, I’m ab-sol-ute-ly positive. She flicks her tail and walks off down the hall.
I run after her, “Please tell me Daisy. please tell me.”
She stops half way up the stairs and looks down at me.
“Oh dog, you’re thick she says. Just think about it. She’s been sleeping a lot. She’s sniffing at food then not eating it. She’s making gulping noises and looking like she’s going to be sick…. ”
“And you’ve still not worked it out? ”
My tail droops. My head drops. What can be wrong with Human?
“Do I have to spell it out”, asks Daisy.
“She’s obviously got a fur ball.”
Isis came from the Aeza cat and dog rescue and adoption centre in Aljezur, Portugal. For information about adopting an animal from the centre, contact firstname.lastname@example.org or www.dogwatchuk.co.uk
*Human apologises for stopping last Wednesday’s post so abruptly. She suddenly felt so ill she had to go to bed. She had been feeling off since Sunday but it was Thursday before she realised why. She’d absent-mindedly swallowed three Alendrolic Acid tablets instead of one.
As A. said, very sensibly, since I’d taken them on Sunday and was still conscious on Thursday, I was probably going to survive.
Spoke to nurse at Q. E., had a blood test and am feeling much better now.