Posting days: Sunday and Wednesday and, sometimes, maybe, extra bits in between.

Wednesday May 22nd 2019

We have a problem, the hosepipe and I.

Isis doesn’t have a problem. She’s fine. She finds Human’s actions puzzling sometimes, but she contains any frustration she might feel. She’s a patient dog.

This is how it goes.

When she lets Isis into the garden to play, Human takes out one or two favourite toys for her.

She does this not only out of the kindness of her heart – for dogs need toys, especially if they have no dog playmates – but because an occupied dog is less likely to cause mayhem.

Sometimes, of course, she forgets, or fails to supply the toys quickly enough. Then, as she sits in the house, relaxing with a coffee, she is assailed by echoing clangs and bangs.

Yikes! Is someone is attacking the side wall with a battering ram? Is this a police raid?

She tears down the hall, shedding a croc as she goes, and emerges, half shod, into the back garden.

Oh. Isis has the hosepipe tightly clamped between her teeth and is swinging it vigorously to and fro. The heavy plastic reel has been pulled four feet off the ground, and is bashing against the wall of the house every time Isis yanks the pipe. The stiff brass tap which is attached to the hosepipe has been dragged round and is now jammed at ninety degrees from its previously vertical position.

“No!”, Human screams at her deaf dog, tapping its forehead briskly with an index finger.

Hairy One, appreciating that her person is, for some strange reason, seriously displeased, allows her to reclaim the hosepipe.

Toys are hastily distributed, and Isis is left to play.

Over the three days, this well rehearsed scene begins to change. A toy placed thoughtfully in the garden mysteriously reappears by Hairy One’s dog bed. One toy is brought indoors and exchanged for another. There’s much walking in and out with a snake, a tugger or a ball clasped purposefully in a hairy mouth.

How sweet. What a interesting dog I have.

It’s Tuesday. Human’s forced herself to go food shopping. In the Co-op she comes across a pretty blue rope, neatly braided, strong and thick like the hosepipe. ‘Hours of fun for your dog’ proclaims the label.’

We’ve all heard that one before, but it’s only one ninety-nine.

Bless her, she’ll love it. Like most dogs, she loves new toys. This’ll take her mind off the hosepipe.

Back at home, I let Hairy out into the garden and offer her the new toy. She seems pleased.

Good. Now for a coffee and two toasted crumpets with apricot jam.

But, of course, the best laid plans of mice and men ……….

What the hell’s she brought this out for?

Sigh. I’d better take it in.

It’s always up to me. She gets my things out and I have to put them back. I’ve already had to replace the snake and the ball.

Well, that’s that done. Now, better not look too interested in the hosepipe. I can smell Human’s somewhere in the garden.

I’ll just pretend Ive found an exciting scent and …..

then sniff my way closer and closer so she doesn’t notice what I’m doing.

Got it!

Here we go! Heeeeeave! Clang! Clatter!

Sigh.

How much is the return fare to Aljezur, Kerry?

*Isis came from the Aeza cat and dog rescue and adoption centre in Aljezur, Portugal. For information about adopting an animal from the centre, contact kerry@aeza.org or www.dogwatchuk.co.uk