Posting days: Sunday and Wednesday and, sometimes, maybe, extra bits in between.
Sunday April 7th 2019
Yes, Monday was quite a nice day. Tuesday begins well too. Bit of a lie-in. Lots of running in Highbury.
Bev and Rufus and Nancy are there too. Good company but I wish they wouldn’t rush up and stick their noses in my face – Rufus and Nancy, I mean. Bev doesn’t do it. She’s nice. I haven’t had my breakfast, so I ask her for a biscuit. She gives me a nice gravy bone.
So when Human wakes me up from my afternoon nap, puts me in my harness again and we get in the car, I’m very pleased. Another walk! Wonderful!
But we’re in the car for rather a long time, and, when I jump out I can smell lots of dogs and cats. And some other smellier things.
I drop my tail and flatten my ears. I don’t like it here. I used to refuse to walk and kept sitting down. Human had to keep picking me up and carrying me.
Now I’m a good dog. I walk. Not quickly though. They might close if we take a long time to get there.
Now we’re at the door. I never used to go through the door. Human always had to carry me. Now I do because I’m a good dog.
I follow Human in. She taps me and tugs me over to the corner. Every time I go I have to step onto this big, flat, metal thing and stand still. I’m very good at it. I don’t get frightened when it moves a bit under my feet.
Then we sit down and wait. That’s when I start to shake. Human strokes me all the time but I can’t stop.
Then, I smell a lady coming towards us. Human makes me walk behind her to a door. Then she pushes me in.
They put something nasty round my head so I can’t open my mouth.
You’ll not believe what happens next. The lady squeezes my bottom. Hard.
I don’t make a sound. But I do squirm a lot.
When the lady’s finished squeezing, she says something to Human. It sounds like ‘poo’. Poo? Whatever does she mean?
Well, Human is holding me and I’m leaning on her, so I know whatever the lady means, Human is feeling bad. I know because her hands and arms and legs are going all tight and hot and sticky.
The the lady stops saying things and pokes around my bottom. Oh my dog. What is she doing. Is she allowed to? Things are getting worse and worse.
At last she gives me a wipe and we’re done.
Thank dog for that.
I’m walking very quickly now. We’re on our way back to the car park. There’s a towel on my blanket. I sit on it. Usually, I’d dig it up before I sat down, but today I don’t care. I just want to get home.
We’re home now. What a relief.
But why does Human rush down the hall in front of me? And why does she close the door to the front room?
Oh well, I’ll lie on the day bed.
Human’s doing something in the kitchen. Now she’s coming in. Oh no! She’s lifting me up and she’s wearing the cold, slithery thing she always puts on when she going to w-w-w-wash me.
It’s even worse than usual. It takes ages, and she’s doing something very nasty to my bottom. She’s covering it in something cold and gloopy and very smelly. Now I can feel icy, hard metal touching my skin.
Eeeeeeeeek! Bits of my hair are falling off into the water. Big bits. Lots and lots of them. I’m going to have a bare bottom.
Oh my dog! How horrible.
This is the worst day I’ve ever had.
What did that nasty lady say to Human?
*Isis came from the Aeza cat and dog rescue and adoption centre in Aljezur, Portugal. For information about adopting an animal from the centre, contact firstname.lastname@example.org or www.dogwatchuk.co.uk
Oh no, hope human didn’t receive a scolding from the woman; I HATE that…
No, to be fair, the lady didn’t scold Human, even though Human deserved it. She just asked, “Shall I get this off and told me she has a very hairy dog and she finds it helps to clip him around his anus. I’ve done that and all is now revealed. Poor Isis looks a little exposed now, but at least I won’t miss anything.
Dear me, it all sounds highly unpleasant…. I’m squirming a little just thinking about it 😮 – curse this vivid imagination……
Well, yes, it’s not for the faint-hearted, is it? I hope you didn’t read it while breakfasting! Yes, imaginations are wonderful assets, but sometimes …… A little too much information, perhaps!